As your parents probably taught you, money doesn’t grow on trees. With the stock market crash and imminent, if you follow Peter Schiff, recession (after a 9 year bull run and an insane increase in national debt), cheap things are probably a more reasonable way to satisfy your shopping cravings, or to acquire stuff that you actually need.

Please enjoy this new 33 Under $3 list. I tried to pick things that are actually below $3 at the time the article was created, so please don’t get upset with me if the sellers decide to raise the price by a few cents when you check the product listings.

UNIQUE BIRTHDAY CANDLE

The first thing is this birthday candle. It’s really cheap for what it’s worth – once it is lit, the petals open up and the candle starts spinning.

I can totally see department stores sell it for an upwards of $10, and more high-end stores sell it for $24.99 or something. Get yours before they buy them all.

THICK WARM SOCKS

The winter is coming, and you need some warm thicc socks to keep your delicate feet warm. I’m amazed with how cheap and good-looking they are and I’m definitely grabbing myself a few pairs.

RFID-SAFE WALLET

An RFID wallet is a good addition to your tin foil hat and your chemtrail detector.

In some areas of the world people are said to use credit card scrapers, which can copy your card info for the purpose of fraudulent transactions or identity theft, so a small investment like this can be a worthy one.

ANALOGUE WATCH

The second item is this lovely watch that you need to watch out for. We see cheap watches often, these ones actually look good in real life if you check the pictures from the feedback section. There is over 15,000 orders and the feedback is overwhelmingly positive.

SMARTPHONE HOLDER FOR CARS #1

This magnet phone holder is a must have if you drive. A friend of mine has one and he said he can’t imagine his life without it anymore.

This thing comes in two pieces: a holder with a magnetic head that attaches to the grill, and the rear magnetic panel that attaches to the back of your phone. If you have a phone with a metallic case you might be able to get away without the magnetic panel.

CAR SMARTPHONE HOLDER #2

If you don’t want to attach a sticky magnet to the back of your phone for whatever reason, here is an alternative. This expandable holder attaches to the air conditioner grill. Pretty standard stuff.

TOILET LED LIGHT

The next item we have is the toilet LED light. This is a motion-sensitive light that attaches to the toilet bowls and makes your late night poops glowy.

BALACLAVA

In the winter it’s nice to keep your neck warm, but sometimes scarves are too bulky and annoying. Wear a balaclava instead.

Besides, if you decide to rob a bank in the winter a pair of tights won’t keep you warm. Or maybe, you just need to wear one because you are ugly.

COLLAPSIBLE SILICONE FUNNEL

For the people who prefer minimalism there are collapsible silicone funnels. They can be used during camping, for example to pour freshly-made tea into your thermos, or used as a regular funnel for your regular kitchen needs, like pouring whiskey in your discreet hip flask to be brought into the office.

7-‘STONE’ BRACELET

A chakra bracelet with 7 different stones, which considering the cost are most likely pieces of plastic. It doesn’t look too bad though.

PENDANTS

I went to a clothing store the other day and I was disgusted with how much they charge for similar pendants. Can’t hate them for trying to make a quick buck because the rent is expensive but damn, if I was you I would rather trust me to find much better deals instead.

POTENT WASHING TABLET

These handy tablets are like Jesus because they can turn 4 liters (or 1 gallon for our American readers) of water into potent washing liquid. It can be used as washer fluid for your vehicle or for bathroom cleaning needs.

MINIMALIST JEWELRY

Here is another obscenely low priced item.

There are a lot of different cheap jewelry items in this store. These stood out to me due to the price, good feedback, and the high amount of orders.

Just think about it, someone will have to stand up, pick something out of a box, put it into an envelope, mail it, then someone will need to go to your door and this all because you ordered a 36-cent pair of earrings. Mesmerizing.

ORGANIZER BAGS

These colorful organizer bags. They’re pretty-looking, convenient and very, very cheap. 4 Options, shipped randomly. Definitely a safe bet.

AFTERMARKET ORAL-B HEADS

Original Oral-B heads, same as replacement razor blades are ridiculously expensive.

I am not a big fan of aftermarket razor heads because they work very poor, however, I have been getting there toothbrush heads from AliExpress for several years now and I’m very happy with the way they work.

KITTY SPOONS

Here are the kitty spoons that will hold on to your mug that you can use to devour Nutella jars.

Previously seen on our Facebook page and in the website shop section. If you for some reason still are not aware of the shop section, I highly recommend to check it out, as there are over 900 products listed at this point.

50-PIECE STICKER SET

If you feel like decorating pretty much anything that you have with stickers, here is a 50-piece sticker pack. The stickers are durable and weather-resistant. They do wear out eventually, but not before taking some abuse.

GIN AND TITONIC ICE MOULD

You probably already know that I have an unhealthy obsession over bad puns. There are a lot of different ice moulds on AliExpress, but here is the one that I have a soft spot for.

REINFORCED CABLE

Here is a high quality charger cable with reinforced tips. I want to make a dirty joke but I’m not going to because I am a gentleman so please come up with one yourself. Thank you.